All of face problems in our life some problems are our personal, which in intra but some are related to others, that is what relationships are, relating to other, and according to psychology, we develop most of our sense of SELF by relating ourselves to other, and when it comes to relating with others it doesn’t happen so easily, we do face lot of difficulty in managing lot of things, like our own emotions, our own beliefs and notions, our own expectations with others, our way of being and the list is never ending..
and in this never ending list everybody has something they can’t do away with and one thing they can’t stand at all, and in middle of that we have lot of unexplored areas of ourselves which we explore with other, like a woman doesn’t generally know how to rear a child till the time she become a mother, she may not even know after becoming biological mother but at least she now has the opportunity. Just like this there are lot of things or i would say problem in our life which help us explore our inner strengths and potential in relating with others.. and that we only do when there is a crisis..
What to do in difficult times in a relationship, thinking and worry about problem is one way, putting blame onto self and other in other way and learning to deal with it is an art.. because there are relations we can’t do away with and they are in our life for a reason.
In how to deal with those difficult times,
Remember three things
- There must be something you will learn for them, so if i say i just can’t stand somebody being less organized and if i have a significant other who actually is less organized and a bit relax about it, what will I learn.. for them… is to not always crib about being organized and giving them space to be themselves so that I at least don’t damage someone’s emotional well being just because i don’t like in fact I can learn to be relax.
- There will be something you will learn with them, when you are with people you love and they love you too, you learn together a lot of thing and that can be as simple as getting up on time together or learning to manage you time, how to respond when you are angry or deciding on how are we going to communicate our problems to each other without hurting the other. This you can also do with outside help like counseling or guidance.
- There will be something you will learn from them,
learning is a continuous process and it is more meaning and alive when we learn from real life examples, from the people around us and it become more useful in your instant surroundings, like you find it very difficult to be assertive, but you know that it is a survival need and when you find someone close to you doing that you learn it from them and that is available to you, you can always find what is it that I can learn from the people around me, my family, my friends and my colleagues and I hope you choose what helps you to grow as a person.
Most of the relationship problems would disappear, if you can use the first two completely third one is a bonus for anyone who want to take it.